The High School Hottie
Romantic Soliloquies: “Letters to my younger self”
All right, so I promised more details about why you should be aware of those boys I mentioned in my previous letter… I want to take you into some further details about each. Specifically right now your High School Hottie.
I want to start with this guy because you’re going to wake up one morning in quarantine with a notification that he liked a birthday post for a mutual friend you had made 7 years ago.
WHAT?… You’re still confused about it even writing this letter. It’ll make you scratch your head for days, but I swear there’s no reason other than to give you divine inspiration for this letter!
As I said before, he’s the first boy that will ever really ‘like you’. You’re only 18 when you start dating, so you’re hormones are racing, and you’ve grown up sheltered so you’re going to be completely enthralled in the idea that someone could actually look at you that way. Again, he’s tall, hazel blue broody eyes peeking through that shaggy dirty blonde hair. He goes to public school so you imagine him to be the ‘cool guy’.
You’ll meet him at your first job — a fast food restaurant — so romantic right? Keep reading — it gets better!
Your first ever kiss
One day at work you’ll get to go on your break at the same time. He invites you to have lunch with him and you realize that you both live in the same neighborhood. How bizarre?! You’ll end up giving him a ride home that evening and you’ll start spending some time together.
One night he’ll ask you to hang out. You get up to his room and all the sudden after some conversation he’ll ask you,
“Do you wanna kiss?”
“Wow, are you sure you haven’t done this before?” he’ll ask.
Ugh looking back at makes you gag over the entire situation — it’s so unromantic and remembering it makes me wonder what you’re thinking. *But you’re not, and here you are writing…*
You’ll actually date this boy for quite a while despite all the efforts of both your parents. Yours want nothing more than to watch him be “born again” those two times he’ll indulge you to go to your childhood church; and believe it or not, his mother will actually think you are the bad influence. Meanwhile, immediately after church he’ll convince you to climb in the back seat of your car for a make out session and a quick bowl of Mary Jane just hoping a Bible thumper will catch you both in an act of sin on God’s property…
See, growing up, you’ll always have a curious nature, and you’ll have this desire to be different. And you’re always going to ask a lot questions that drive your parents crazy. This guy is going to highlight that “rebel” in you early on in your relationship.
He’ll be the one to teach you how to play beer pong. The first time you play you’re going to win the game by doing a trick shot — a bounce on the table, past the other team, bouncing off the TV behind them, and into the cup. It’ll be awesome, and he’ll look so shocked and impressed.
You’ll feel like this is the first time people actually ‘like you’ and the first time you actually have friends.
The first time
New Year’s — you had to go to your cousin’s house for your family traditional New Year’s celebrations and he had a party to go to. You wanted to go to the party so badly, but you always have a good time with your cousins so you weren’t too upset about it. He’ll call you that night and ask you to pick him up from the party. He’s clearly drunk. Your parents will ask you not to drive in the middle of the night as it’s New Year’s there’s bound to be cops everywhere trying to bust people for drunk driving and pulling people over for any reason at all. You go anyway to pick him up because you want to be a good girlfriend. He’ll call you half a dozen times and leave you so many messages that don’t make sense, but he’s clearly desperate for a ride out of there.
When you finally show up — the cops are there. And as soon as you walk through the door, he’s telling the officer that you’re his sister.
“Hi, I’m his sister — I’m here to take him home.”
The cops will ask you if you’ve been drinking, and then let you go your merry way. He’ll make a smart comment to the cops and then look at you to tell you that I also have to drop off three of his friends at their houses as well. They’re both girls… Needless to say, it’ll annoy the crap out of you.
When the five of you get back in the car, he’ll start pleading his remorse.
“You know what, save it for someone who will believe you!”
The look on his face will be priceless. You never snap at him, but you’ll be so annoyed that you can’t help it. He’ll start a nervous chuckle and start chattering again. Then all of the sudden:
“I love you! I wanted to wait for the moment to be special, but I can’t hold it in anymore and what you’re doing for me right now, saving me the way you did. I love you, I love you, I love you.”
That one night
So, fast forward a bit. You and your High School Hottie have been dating for about a year and a half now. His father owns rental properties. One in particular was one of his newer purchases at the time which he’ll keep off the market for awhile until he finishes renovations. This will become your new party spot as there’s be a garage with an upper level room.
One night you’ll break in to have a party with some friends and you’ll get completely toasted off this drink called Joose. It’ll go out of production soon after because it’s a spiked energy drink and there’ll be studies that come out as to why it’s caused the death of a several college kids. Anyway, back to the point, you’ll wake up the next morning not remembering a thing.
Something you know for certain though — you’ve lost your virginity…
… to be continued.
Continue to The High School Hottie, Part II→
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Special thanks for acting editor and good friend, Jason Barber.
