There’s going to be a time where this crazy virus sweeps the globe and everyone will be quarantined in their homes. It’s going to drive you crazy. It’s going to be very emotionally triggering. You’re going to cry your eyes out. Just remember — it’s going to be alright.
Right now, while writing this letter, you’ll have been quarantined for 50 days. You’ve gone through a couple bottles of vodka and a full case of wine already. Not to mention half a bottle of fire ball and three other bottles of wine… And this day that you’re writing this, you’ll have poured your first glass of wine around 12:30 in the afternoon. If there will ever be a time to justify your drinking — it’s now! (Course life will have already thrown you a number of pretty heavy curve balls, so you’ll never be short on justifications for your drinking.)
The amount of time to think during this quarantine time is draining on a number of levels. It’s a time to grieve. By this time you’ll have been trying to collaborate with a woman you know from your current job to move into a better position at her company. This will obviously be put that on the back burner as literally the entire global economy will seize. Your coworker will be let go which means you’ll have to do the work of two full time jobs while your boss continues to be part time. During this time, it’ll feel like all the progress you’ve made to truly change your karma from the last year (and the last year {past few years actually} felt like it’s just broken you to the smallest pieces anyone could be broken!) and all of it comes to a screeching halt!
Sent directly to jail, you cannot pass Go — you do not get to collect $200!
It’s f*#$^ing Bull $hit considering how much work you feel you’ve put into yourself already — like “What more could the Universe possibly need to teach me?”!
Today is one of the more difficult days. You’ll find yourself on the floor in a puddle of your tears, because it feels like the world just won’t give you a break. You started this blog because during this time as you’re single and live alone you feel like there’s nothing else you can do but get swept away in your thoughts. You want to write this blog because you feel like it’ll be a way to heal all these things you’ve repressed. “It’ll be a way to maybe help someone else too,” you’ll think.
You’re so excited about it when you first start. It’ll be very difficult to keep your momentum though. Your first thoughts about it were to write it in this way “Letters to my younger self”.
“It’ll be a way to detach emotionally from telling the stories so it’s almost like I’m telling the stories of someone else, right?”
WRONG!
You’ll have inspiration all day long. The entire time you’re quarantined you’ll think of nothing but these stories adding up to make your life. Everyday it’ll get more difficult to try to stay positive wondering if this is the karma you deserve…
Do I deserve to be alone?
Did I bring this on myself?
Am I just the most stupid person to have let these things happen?
Why couldn’t I have been smarter?
Or if I do realize it wasn’t my fault, how am I still alone? How am I still feeling sad about all of these things that happened? People I’ve lost? People who said they loved me?
Questions like this will drive you to feel insane, and make you feel the loneliest you’ve ever felt. The constant up and down, the back and forth, it’ll feel like an elephant is sitting on your chest and you can’t breathe.
So what’s the point of this letter?
This is not meant to scare you!
This letter, my younger self, is to remind you to show yourself compassion and to give yourself a break.
Healing doesn’t happen overnight.
Healing is not easy; but this is your time!
Love,
Your future self!
